Monday, January 16, 2006

India at war: Who goes in 1 down..

By the time India reaches 350, with Sehwag having hit the second fastest double ton and Dravid having opened the openings and complementing him with a watchful ton, the temperature in the Indian dressing room suddenly swells up. Reason: Many cricket players notice their kits are missing. A discussion ensues. Laxman, Sachin, Pathan are already padded up. Ganguly gets surprised, looks at Pathan. Curtains raise.

ganguly : sachin, what's the matter?
tendulkar : matter? nothing dada.. why are you not watching the match?
ganguly : i saw agarkar carrying 2 kits in a very funny way.
laxman : sachin, you were saying something about front foot defence?
tendulkar : arre, i said "front foot offence" done by dada..

kumble walks in with harbhajan. kumble tosses a coin, calls head, harbhajan appears pleased when the result is a tail.

harbhajan : hehe, i won. can i go now?
kumble : i don't think so. you need to wait this time too.
harbhajan : this is cheating.
kumble : i've bowled 5.3 overs more than you, and have taken 2 wickets as compared to your 0.

ganguly : harbhajan, tell me what's going on here.
harbhajan : dada.. i cannot lie to you. please ask kumble. (harbhajan walks out).
ganguly : what's up anil?
kumble : we were deciding who goes in next because both captain and vice captain are not here.

tendulkar : aaila, laxman, look who's talking.
kumble : sachin, you've scored your 35th already. it's time i went 1 down. bhajji just agreed.
laxman : don't you all see the score card? rahul clearly told i was to go in 1 down.
sachin : aaila plane.. (all of them look skywards, sachin swaps his name with laxman on the electronic scoreboard)
laxman : (looks at scoreboard, appears awed) sachin this is cheating. i'll wait till you come to hyderabad (walks out).

pathan : dada.. do you think your new stance is going to help you? why don't you watch me score a ton first and then play?
ganguly : if the code of conduct was not in place, i would have hit you with my bengali bat.
pathan : you have a bat too? i thought you were taken in to complement inzamam's running.
ganguly : sachin, do you think this is the right treatment i deserve?
tendulkar : aaila, in 32 overs pathan bowled only 2 no balls. you bowled 3 in 6 overs saurav.
ganguly : (eats roshogulla) umm.. (walks out).

tendulkar : (winks at pathan. they exchange a hi5). your 2 down position is fixed irfan.
pathan : thanks sachin bhai (walks out).
tendulkar : (rearranges centre guard, bends a bit and gets up). aaila, time to call dravid back.

meanwhile, agarkar has sold the kits of dhoni and yuvraj to inzamam and salman butt respectively.

kumble : sachin, dravid is from karnataka and i dont think he would favour a mumbai player against me.
tendulkar : it takes visa power anil. if i don't back dravid, kiran more and greg chappell will send a long email.
kumble : but you gave away 18 runs in just 2 overs.
tendulkar : main kaun hoon? main kahan hoon? [who am i? where am i?]
kumble : yes, till you recover, i will pad up and go out to bat.
tendulkar : do you want me to vote against you during the selection session?
kumble : sachin, you are a batsman, not a selector. let us ask chappell.
tendulkar : aaila, so you think seniority comes with no pros?

75 overs of the Indian Innings have been bowled, Sehwag mercilessly reaches 247. India reaches a staggering 403/0. Light is offered to Dravid and Sehwag.

dravid : time for snacks viru.
sehwag : captain, don't you want to see me make a 300 today itself?
dravid : (speaks in english, and too fast at that. viru can't understand)
sehwag : ma ne kaha hai 300 banana (mom has told to score 300)
dravid : no i dont want bananas. chalo [let's go] (sehwag follows).

As the excitement grows, India have already made 456/0. Kamran Akmal (the wicket keeper) comes to bowl, with Pakistan choosing to not have a wicket keeper. Akmal strikes on the first ball. Dravid dances down the wicket, slips down, hurts himself. Akmal runs fast, fetches the ball, and gets the bails off. Umpire rules Dravid out, choosing to decide the mode of dismissal later.

Now the excitement in the Indian dressing room has reached its limit. Sachin Tendulkar is padded up, and is ready to step out. He is walking down the steps in the pavilion. Another padded up person is walking just behind him. Sachin does not sense him. Just as Sachin is about to enter the ground, the tall person says "aaila plane". Sachin looks skywards. People think that's because of his usual habit of getting used to the light. The person who was padded up takes advantage of the fact, enters the ground before Sachin. And that person has donned the Indian outfit, so Sachin is forced to retreat, by rule.

Fierce as ever, he takes a wild stance in the dressing room and yells out for Chappell. The rest of the team comes out of nowhere and they start laughing. Sachin, perplexed, looks at the score board. Greg has gone in 1 down!! The rest of the team shouts in unison "aaila, plane". Curtains.


At 5:36 AM, Blogger nikhil said...

lagta hain NBU main bahut kam kaam hain..

At 7:00 AM, Blogger Aniket Anikhindi said...

NBU mein writing karne walon ko inaam dete hain. phir woh code ho ya post, dekha nahin jaata.

VEA mein padhne walon se purify runs karwaate hain na?

At 2:00 AM, Blogger Storm said...

Aur AmberPoint mein ;)? Cool stuff, damn funny :D.

At 9:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

YEah nike, now I know, in the next trek I say "Aila Plane " - u look up wide mouth- I spray a bottle load of El Paso down ur throat!
-Guess who

At 2:25 AM, Blogger Aniket Anikhindi said...

El Paso! How can I forget that amazing perfume/deo? And you ask me guess who? When you sprayed a mouthful under my throat at 13000 feet?

I'm waiting for May 2006 budd.. And my perfume/deo will be much stronger than El Paso.. You just wait!


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